Ok I have been majorly avoiding my commitment to blogging regularly. I’m sorry. The past few weeks or even month have been challenging to say the least. From birthday parties to traveling and personal drama I am ready for things to feel a little more consistent and calmer. I think I am finally getting back to that
So where to begin?? This past week was bad on my diet. I’m up 3lbs – its mostly water retention etc but I was definitely lazy last week (only 1 workout!) and ate poorly. I wouldn’t say that I was binging but I was making the unhealthier choices instead of the healthier ones. I’m ashamed to have put some weight back on but I’m back on the horse and back at it. My hope is that this week I”ll be back to where I was two weeks ago and then I can keep losing. It feels so good to look in the mirror and feel thinner. It also feels good to shrink out of my clothes and I have some great winter clothes that if I stay focused will fit quite nicely this fall/winter.
Some of my reasons for not being strict with myself were just that I started to have cravings for bad stuff. I think that the major reason the cravings began were because I’ve been having some personal drama with Preston’s dad. I’m not going to get into details here because I don’t think that’s appropriate but it has had been really overwhelmed and stressed out for the past month or so. I want so badly to not allow my eating/diet to be effected by stress but its what I know. I eat to fill the empty/alone feeling when stuff is stressing me out! No wonder I gained so much weight during grad school!! Anyway, I am trying very hard to get myself back on track. In the past messing up for a week would mean I would begin to believe that I wasn’t capable of losing weight and that I was failing. I have tried to reorient my thinking so that I recognize the setback but don’t let it mean anything more than that. Yesterday was the first “good” day start to finish. I ate really well and did an hour of cardio which felt good and tiring. I also got a full nights sleep that helped tremendously. I noticed that when I’m making bad choices my water intake goes down a ton, so I have made a point to increase my water consumption again – it helps soooo much with cravings.
Aside from the diet/food issues and the drama with the baby daddy life has been alright. Preston and I spent the weekend with my aunt two weekends ago and enjoyed pool time, eating out, a visit to Navy Pier and a fun production of Beauty and the Beast. Preston was fascinated by the costumes and music of the show. Preston is truly a dramatic and theatrical person at heart and so its really fun to take him to shows. I like to watch him, watching the show, even though he doesn’t have the words to explain the pleasure he gets from it you can see it on his face and it just makes me so happy. Last weekend we headed down to central Illinois where my best friend Katie lives. Her daughter Lorelei (who happens to be my god-daughter) is 6 months younger than Preston and they have such a great time playing together while Katie and I enjoy spending grown up time together. It was a nice quick trip.
Our summer has really been pretty fun. Preston loves his ballet class. We try to hit up the library regularly and the pool. He doesn’t nap anymore – hasn’t in over a year – so we make the most of our day having fun and playing and then he’s asleep around 6:30pm. That’s the best part of no naps, early bedtime and time to relax or go to work
I have been feeling this desire to reconnect or connect with people to expand my social network. I have lots of friends, but they are mostly spread out and not easily accessible in person. I also think that as you get older your circle of friends just keeps shrinking. But in an effort to combat my loneliness I have decided I’d like more friends in the area. So even though I haven’t really taken any major strides to meet a bunch of new people its something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.
Ok this post is getting totally random. I am sorry for my absence and avoidance for so long. I’m ready to get back to blogging regularly and sharing my success as well as my slower less productive weeks.